What exactly is emotional mastery? We’ve all experienced situations in which our emotions get the best of us. We often didn’t realize what was going on until we were too far down the “emotional train” to change it. The best time to deal with emotion is when you first start feeling and experiencing it ultimately. That way, it won’t keep popping up again and again; following these 10 easy steps can teach you how to master your emotional states and take control of your life.
How To Master Your Emotional States?
Here Are 10 Suggestions To Help You Master Your Emotional States:
1. Identify Your Emotion
The first step to master your emotional states is to identify the emotion you are experiencing. This is important because if you don’t know what kind of emotion you’re experiencing, you’ll fail to respond appropriately.
To Help You Get Through This Step, Consider The Following Two Questions:
- What am I feeling at the moment?
- Is this what I’m feeling, or is there something more?
The more clarity you have here, the more choices you can have when you move through this process.
2. Appreciate Your Emotion
It is important at this stage that you should not resist any emotion you are experiencing. Resistance only breeds uncertainty and prevents you from turning this emotion into something you can do and work with as you move forward.
It is also important that you openly acknowledge the emotion that you are experiencing. Also, seek its personal meaning and significance in the situation that you find yourself in. For example, if anything has suddenly caused you to feel angry, instead of fighting this anger, you can acknowledge to yourself that you are feeling angry and that these particular circumstances have caused you to feel angry.
Only when you can openly admit this emotion would you be ready to move forward to the third step on this path.
3. Aim For Regulation, Not Repression
You can’t turn your emotions on and off with a dial (oh, if it were only that simple!). Consider for a moment how you would be able to handle your feelings in this manner.
You don’t want to leave them on full power all of the time. You also don’t want to totally toggle them off.
When you suppress or repress your emotions, you prevent yourself from experiencing and expressing them. This can happen either consciously (suppression) or unconsciously (repression).
Both Can Lead To Mental And Physical Health Problems, Such As:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Sleep issues
- Muscle tension and pain
- Difficulty managing stress
- Substance misuse
When learning to control your emotions, make sure you’re not just sweeping them under the rug. Finding a good balance between overwhelming emotions and no emotions at all is important for healthy emotional expression.
4. Analyze Your Emotion
The most important thing to do at this point is to become curious. Curiosity will lead you to new perspectives and opportunities that will enable you to gain unique insights into your emotions and the situations you find yourself in.
Ask Yourself The Following Questions To Make You Become More Curious About The Emotion You Are Experiencing:
- What does this emotion offer me?
- What is the actual value of this emotion?
- What specific ways does this emotion serve for me?
- What should I do to improve the situation?
- What do I need to believe to achieve the desired result?
- What do I want and feel?
- How can I learn from this to do better in the future?
Remember that whatever emotion you are experiencing, there is something to help you in some way; to give you important lessons about yourself, your situation, and life in general. As a result, you must be open to finding the right answers that will help you in gaining the insights required to overcome this emotional roadblock you are experiencing.
5. Get Confident That You Can Handle Emotion
This is the time to achieve clarity. It is also the time to gain any necessary information and support that will help you in managing your response more effectively.
To help in this process, consider a moment in the life that you successfully handled this emotion and used it to your benefit. This successful memory should be used to pave the way for a better future in which this emotion no longer rules you. But instead, consciously choose to react to it helpfully and proactively.
6. Take A Deep Breath
There’s a lot to be said about the power of taking a deep breath. If you’re extremely happy or so angry, you can’t speak.
Slowing down and concentrating on your breathing would not help you eliminate your feelings (and note, it is not the goal). On the other hand, deep breathing techniques will assist you in grounding yourself and taking a step back from the initial intense flash of feeling and any extreme response you want to prevent.
The Next Time You Feel Emotions, Start To Taking Control:
- Breathe in slowly. Deep breaths are taken from the diaphragm instead of the chest. Visualizing your breath rising from deep within your belly may help.
- Hold it. Hold your breath for three counts, then slowly exhale.
- Consider a mantra. Some people find it beneficial to repeat a mantra, such as “I am calm” or “I am relaxed.”
7. Know When To Express Yourself
Everything, including extreme emotions, has a time and place. For example, uncontrollable sobbing is a widespread reaction to the loss of a loved one. After being dumped, screaming into your pillow, or even hitting it, it can help you release some of your anger and tension.
Some situations, on the other hand, necessarily require some restraint. Screaming at your boss over an unfair disciplinary decision will not help, no matter how frustrated you are.
Being aware of the surroundings and the environment will help you learn when it’s appropriate to express your emotions and when you can sit with them for the moment.
8. Try Meditation
If you already practice meditation, it may be one of the go-to methods for dealing with extreme feelings.
According to a study, meditation reduces fatigue, boosts energy, and positively impacts overall well-being.
Meditation will help you become more conscious of all of your feelings and experiences. When you meditate, you teach yourself to sit with certain emotions, to notice them without judging yourself or trying to change or make them go away.
As previously said, learning to accept all of your emotions can help with emotional control quickly. Meditation can help you improve your acceptance skills. It also has other advantages, such as aiding you to relax and sleep better.
9. Talk To A Therapist
If your emotions continue to overwhelm you, it’s time to seek professional help.
Long-term or chronic emotional dysregulation and mood swings are associated with a number of mental health disorders. These include borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder. Botnick states that trouble controlling emotions can also be related to anxiety, family problems, or other underlying concerns.
A Therapist Can Provide Compassionate, Non – Judgmental Support As You:
- Investigate the causes that contribute to dysregulated emotions
- Address severe mood swing
- Learn how to down-regulate extreme emotions or increase limited emotional expression
- Practice challenging and reframing distressing feelings
10. Take Action
Now that you have all of the resources and information you need to answer healthily and constructively, it’s time to take proactive steps to improve your emotional state.
The Bottom Line
Mood swings and intense emotions can cause negative or unwanted thoughts, leading to feelings of hopelessness or depression.
This cycle can ultimately lead to unhelpful coping methods such as self-harm or even suicidal thoughts. If you have suicidal thoughts or urges to self-harm, speak to a trusted loved one right away so that you can get support.
