Have you ever needed to ask someone about something and didn’t know how to get them to agree? It can be stressful and discouraging to be told no constantly, whether at work, school, or home. While there is no guarantee that everyone can say yes, you can use strategies to improve your chances greatly!
How to get people to say Yes?
Here are some ways you can apply to get people to say Yes:
1. Setting Yourself up for Success
Speak with confidence and polish. You want to bring the best foot forward when approaching someone with a proposal or a question. If you perfect your delivery, you greatly increase your chances to get people to say Yes. Speak confidently and deliberately, without using the words “em” or “oh,” and without tripping over your words.
Have in mind that practice makes perfect. Rehearse what you want to say before delivering your question. You don’t have to rehearse to the point of memorization because you don’t want to sound artificial. Simply practice asking for what you want to ask for before you are confident and prepared. If you are a more visual learner, you may find it helpful to jot down exactly what you want to say and rehearse that way. Practicing in front of a mirror is especially useful. This is because it allows you to notice nonverbal problems such as playing with your hair or avoiding eye contact.
2. Show how your proposal/idea benefits them
People are more likely to say yes to your proposal if you can explain how it would help or benefit them in some way. Show them what they expect to benefit from if you agree to your question.
For example, if you want to take more time off from work, talk to your boss about what times of year are usually slow at your workplace and go from there. This way, your boss sees the advantage of giving you your vacation. You’re being thoughtful and taking it at a slow time of year so that it won’t affect the company’s bottom line.
Alternatively, suppose you want to take your partner out on a date but need to ask your teenager to babysit their younger siblings. In that case, you might offer to babysit in return for money, or weekend use of your car, for instance. This shows to your teen that saying yes to you would benefit all of you.
3. Make your request in a positive environment if possible
Nothing ruins negotiations like a negative temper. If at all possible, avoid negotiating with someone angry or standoffish. Wait until the person is in a better mood before bringing up your request.
Of course, this does not apply to work situations where you must negotiate, such as selling a product to an unhappy customer. It is not always possible to place the request in a positive environment. However, if you have the choice, wait until the person you’re seeking a yes from is in a good mood. This raises the chances of receiving your chances of hearing a yes.
Crossed arms, external disturbances (such as a phone call or misbehaving kids), and eye rolls or scowls are all telltale nonverbal signals that you should wait for if at all possible. And even if the individual is engaging you politely, you will not truly be going to be heard. So you are better off waiting and contacting them when they are less distracted or upset.
4. Use peer pressure
People tend to make choices based on the opinions of others. We read restaurant reviews before going out to eat and movie reviews. Before going to see a movie, we ask our friends’ opinions. This same “herd mentality” can be used to get people to say Yes to you.
If you’re trying to sell a house, for example, using this technique would mean printing out neighborhood reviews that are available online. This will show prospective buyers how elite the property is. This peer pressure from other people’s positive reviews may be enough to seal the deal on your home selling.
Similarly, if you’re trying to convince your parents to let you study abroad, tell them how exclusive the program is or how well other students and parents (and future employers!) have viewed the experience may convince them to let you go.
5. Be open to compromise or a partial yes
Not all fights can be won without making compromises. If you’re trying to get people to say Yes to you and they’re willing to negotiate or say yes on condition, you’re on the right track. Consider it a win that you were able to persuade them to meet you halfway or more.
This is especially important when dealing with a superior, such as a parent or a boss. For example, if you’re attempting to convince your parents about your curfew, there may be some room for negotiation.
If they want you home by 11 p.m. and you want to hang out until 1 a.m., if they agree to midnight as a compromise, then it is a victory. Alternatively, if you ask your boss about receiving a 7% increase and they agree to a 4% raise, consider it a victory because you already convinced them that you deserved more money. In a roundabout way, you got what you wanted (more time with your friends or a salary increase).
Don’t look at compromises as negatives. Instead, look at them as to be getting a yes with conditions.
Give them the option of saying yes or no
According to research, when people are presented with so many options, they get overwhelmed and discouraged. To avoid this, try to keep the proposal to a couple of options at most.
Examples include offering your significant other only two restaurant options or asking your friend which of two pre-selected dresses she thinks looks better on you. This narrows the field from broad, more hard questions like, Where should we eat tonight? or “What should I wear? Giving them a choice of two “yeses” from a list of clear, limited options ensures that they can easily make a decision.
7. Ask questions that you know will elicit a positive response.
It may be helpful to ask questions that you know will lead to positive responses.
Rather than attempting to convince someone, occasionally we want positive responses to create a light mood or relaxed environment. For example, on a first date or at a family event, when you have a personal interest in making sure everybody is agreeable, this can be a useful strategy to use.
For example, if you’re on a date, you could say, Wasn’t that wine fantastic?” or Don’t you love this city? Or, at a family dinner, you might say something like, Isn’t Grandma’s turkey the best? These types of questions almost always result in a yes, and they will help you connect with others.
8. End on an active note
Even if you did not completely get people to say Yes, you could try to finish the meeting or discussion on a positive note, with a look toward the future. This takes you out of limbo and moving forward toward your goal.
